sex before marriage

Author  Topic: sex before marriage     junel87 junel87 sex before marriage   «on: 05/11/05 at 23:31:14 »    can someone please explain love and sex before marriage     junel87 junel87 Re: sex before marriage   «on: 05/11/05 at 23:41:13 »    is it allowed?     kigoobe kigoobe Re: sex before marriage   «on: 05/11/05 at 23:45:21 »    allowed by ?     junel87 junel87 Re: sex before marriage   «on: 05/11/05 at 23:46:30 »    yea come on is it allowed before marriage     debasish_ch debasish_ch Re: sex before marriage   «on: 05/12/05 at 05:28:29 »    Sourav, fari laiso. allowed by?? ha ha ha ha Premasish-re ekta request... ektu monitoring prayojan.. ja ta topic introduce kora hor     kigoobe kigoobe Re: sex before marriage   «on: 05/12/05 at 14:52:47 »    Fulafan ba hera ... fulafan ... buje na ba ...     i_am_amnesiac i_am_amnesiac Re: sex before marriage   «on: 05/12/05 at 21:31:12 »    arre sourav gr8 answer ;D. ar juneil bhai keu jodi na dei teile tumi aamare mail ekta korio. ami kunu magistrate-re diya na hoile panchayat secretary re diya ekta certificate bair koria dimu ne. ;)     kigoobe kigoobe Re: sex before marriage   «on: 05/12/05 at 21:40:19 »    Great Shovon ... thik kotha ... Junel, Shovon can manage a certificate for you ... so there will be no legal obligation for you for loving someone before mariage     dutta dutta Re: sex before marriage   «on: 05/17/05 at 10:07:59 »    confused koi re ba, main room o ita kita choler... okhon tumi contact koro premashish re, topic to lomba cholbo re ba.... oboishho okhon o aamar mote censor korar moto kichhu hoise na...     mon_amar mon_amar Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 14:56:58 »    Hey....whats wrong with you guys?? Censor/Certificate er proshno ashchhe keno???Ekhane ki keu description chaichhe naki "how to make love?"" I hope we all are mature, well educated and modern enough!! I dont find anything wrong in the topic, this is worth discussing, as sex before marriage is not allowed in our society, but nobody can swear upon God that it is not happening in our society. Its a matter of values and personal perception which is influenced by our society and childhood learnings. If we can discuss among us about drug abuse, then why not this topic?? This issue raised here I believe is highly pychological, and worth discussing.   Shaak diye machh dhakar obhyash kobe jabe amader?? Gandhiji-r 3 bandor hoye boshe thakle society change hoina. Thik ai proshno tai kichhudin por amader chhele meye ra proshno korle ki gal parben apnara, aar chup koriye deben? Oder ke ekta shushtho and logical chinta dhara dayar daitto to amaderi. Please forgive me my elders if you think I am speaking illogically. But if so, please give me a logic to prove me illogical. Premashish, oboshyo ei topic ta ke nongra kora tao onek shohoj, tobe ignore kora ta thik noi.     Bijili Bijili Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 17:54:32 »    Amader desher naam "Bharat" naam hoyeche ki bhabe jano? Onek jug aage "Maharaja Bhorot" name ek Raja chilen jini samasta Aryabarta e rajotto korechilen. Tini pandit, sushil, beer, proja-palok o dharmik chilen ebong tnar naam anusarei amader desher naam "Bharat" hoyeche. Ekhon boloto ei kotha guli ami ekhane keno bolchi? ektu darao, bolchi... Shokuntalar putra je Bhorot ta jogot bidito. Menoka aar Maharshi Bishwamitrer gandhar Bibaho purbo milonei Shokuntolar janmo hoyechilo. Aar Shokuntola aar Maharaja Dushmanter Bibaho purbo milone janmo hoyechilo Bhoroter, jaar theke amader desher naam koron hoyeche. Mahabharotei abar bornito aache je kumari Kunti aar Surja deber milone Mahabeer Karner janmo hoyechilo. Ramayane barnito aache je Kumari Anjana ebong Paban deber sangamei janma hoyechen Mahabir Hanuman. Mahabharat, Ramayan, Puran ebong Hindu onnanyo dharmo grantha khullei hajare hajare bibaho purbo miloner rati gatha bornito aache. Ek narir ekadhik poti ba premik thakaro proman paoya jaay atit Bharote. Bidhoba ramonir punarbibaher onek proman aache Baidik ebong Pouranik juge. Puraton Bharote je narider onek bishoye purushder somosamoyik adhikar chilo tar khub proman paoya jaay. Bharot jokhon sabhyter swarna shikhire chilo tokhon bortoman kaler poshchatter moto Bharoteo rati bidyar aalochona o gyan prodaan kora hoto. Dharma, sahitya, sthapatya, ittadi onek bishoye i er proman paoya jaay ebong bibaho-purbo ba bibaho poroborti rati sukh ke punya ebong swargiyo sukh bola hoyeche. Bharatborshe je haare rati chorcha koreche se bhabe aar kono sabyata kore ni, emon ki aadhunik poshchatya sabhota o onek pichiye aache sei anujayi. Kintu Bharoter sei swarna jug nei jokhon Batsayoner moto rishi ra Kamsutrer moto mahakabyo rachana kore sadharon manush ke rati shikkha deyechen kimba sei shilpi rao aar nei jara Kajuraher mandir gatre rati miloner madhur drishyo ke sthapito kore rati miloner porom ananda ke kibhabe sampurno labh kora jaay. Je kuno dhoroner milon kimba nari puruser milon je shudhu shontan kamonar jonnoi hoy ta hoyto ami bolleo keu bishwas korbe na! Manusher je bishoye gyan thake na aar jodi sei kaaj gyan chara korte jaay, tokhoni manush sei bishiye bhul kore boshe. Taai rati gyan er gyan labh korao atyabarshok. Gyan bythito rati sangam kei manush "paap" bole. Sei sangam bibaho purbo ba poroborti porjayeri houk.  Bortoman kale rati bishoyok onek rokomer sangkramak rug dekha diyeche aar rati gyan er obhabe Bharote er marattok rup dharon koreche. Taai amader deshe rati sammondhe chorcha kora kimba shikkha deoya ati aboshyak. Rati bishoye bhalo kore jene ebong dui bektir majhe purno biswas aar nijer swastho bojaay rekhe bibaho purbo milone je khoti noy ta budhoy sobai mane. Aar jara agyani tarai rati r moto manob jiboner purnotar chorom porjayer sukh nite giyei bhul kore boshe ta bibaher purbe othoba poroborti kalei houk. Taai je kono somoyei "bhabiya korio kaaj, koriya bhabio na!"                                                                Iti Bijli :)       mon_amar mon_amar Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 18:30:26 »    Thank you Bijili...I expected that from you. There is so much to learn from you. :)     debasish_ch debasish_ch Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 19:36:07 »    uri baba... ami ei byapaare oti anabhigga... ebong arbachin... te-o jekhano bitarka sheikhaanei aami... oto kharaap oibbhash nani. Bijli didi.. kichu mone koro na...  kintu prachin bharatbarsher shob jinishkei je prashangsha korte hobe, eta ki khub jaruri? Kaal bolbe je srikrishna porer bari theke makhan churi kore kheten, meyera chaan korte naamle kaporjama niye paliye jeten, bhagaban raam porer kothay nijer stri-ke barir baire ber kore diyechilen.. egulo-o mene nite hobe naki? Ramayan Mahabharat-e prachur upakhyan aache je muni rishi ra sundari meye dekhlei... (Ki korten ta ami bolte paarbo na, tumi andaj kore nao). Juger shaathe samajer niyam niti bodle jaay jaani, kintu bhalo jinish gulo ke thaakte dile khoti ki? Aar mon amar mejdi... eta shaak diye maach dhakar byapaar noy. Amra shobai jaani je amader nagarik sabbhotay pre-marital sex aajkal jal bhaater motoi byapaar hoye geche... kintu she to didi churi dakati pocketmaar bribery khun kidnapping eve-teasing rape shobi prachur matray hoy. Shob-i mene nebo? Samaje hocche bolei mene nebo? Shobai jodi shaak diye maach dheke ney taaholei to samaj ta shudhre jaabe tai na? Jodi ami aar tumi aar amader aashe paasher shob lokera nijer marjada anushaare chole taholei to jathesto, tai na? Ki bolo?     Keats Keats Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 19:43:18 »    Virginity. Is it seriously worth it to remain a virgin til marriage? Is the act of sex really that big of a deal? It’s just an act, a satisfaction of a human desire. In a weird way, it’s like food, or going to the bathroom, or sleeping. It’s a human longing. Yet, it can’t JUST be that, because why then would people make such a big deal about it all the time? Isn’t half the reason sex can be so amazing is because of the emotional and the intimate connection you and a partner can feel? Yet I  don’t want to cheapen sex. I didn’t want to ever have to bring into a bedroom thoughts of previous bedroom experiences and feel compelled to compare the two. I wanted to only know one girl and only have one girl know me. I no longer think that virginity is a necessary thing to save til marriage. I really think that sex is just a physical longing that is best fulfilled when there is a strong and committed emotional connection between two people. It all seems so dirty to discuss, so animal-instinctish and irrational, but yet there’s something about feeling as though you know someone enough to allow them permission to your body. It feels good. It feels right. It feels natural.     Bijili Bijili Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 21:47:15 »    mone nebo keno debashi da? nishchoi nebo na! Tumi je bolle puran Bharoter sob kichukei ki proshongsa korte hobe ki...tao ami mani. Ram charitra ebong Krishna charitra ke onekei proshno korechen ebong amio kori. Aar ei je muni-rshider kotha bolle tara kintu shudhu pouranik Bharotei noy bortoman Bharoteo aache, Shudhu naam aar mukhosh er betikram. Aar otiter sob kichu niye gaurobh bodh o kori na. Shudhu koyek ta udhahoron diyechilam matro. Udhahoron gulo ke ke kibhabe grohon korbe se taar nijer mononshilotar upor nirbhor koorbe. Somoy shudhu chole jeche kintu Ramayan aar Mahabharoter choritra gulo aajo aache amader somaje. Taai je sob choritro ke loke jane tader diye udahorn dile manush ati sohojei je kono proshner bishoy ta bujte pare. Udahoron guli diye ami proman korte chechilam je bortoman kaler moto puran Bharoteo bibaho purbo sangamer procholon chilo ebong onek bhabei somaje ta grohon jugyo chilo. Sei bishoye aar atirikto chorcha korte chai na. Musalmaan der agomonei Bharote rati shikkha hrad hoy ebong Bharoter ati puran rati shikkha ke ashlil akhya kora hoyechilo. Porobotri kale Victorian Ingrejra (Orthodox aar Catholic Christian ra shorir ebong sharorik sammandho ke paap bole, Adam aar Eve apple kheye paap korechilo bole taderke Ishwar lojja-bodh er abhishap deyechilen) jokhon sei bidya niye Bharoter upobone bibinno mandir abishkar korlo tokhon Hindu Dharma o sanskrtir proti Ingrej totha Europiyo der sankirno monobhab chilo. "In the early period of European explorations of Asia, travelers saw Hindu sacred images as infernal creatures and diabolic multiple-limbed monsters.  The most famous of all stereotypes was that of monsters, presented in books as authentic portrait of Indian gods. From the earliest date the Christian Church had taught that all pagan religions were invented by the devil. The typical reactions of an early Western travelers were bound to reflect certain prejudices stemming from his Christian background as well as total ignorance of Hindu iconography." http://www.atributetohinduism.com/Hindu_Art.htm Taai tara Bharoter Oislamik stapatya ke marjada dilo aar Hindu stapotto ke oshlil o odharmik ghushona korlo. Agra r Taj Mahal pelo bishwa stapotter morjada aar Madurai er mandir duli pelo oshlilotar aakya. Bibaher purbe sangam uchit ki anuchit sei siddanto taami pathoker kachei rakhlam. Ami shudhu ei bolte chai je "sex education" ottonto joruri aar ei shikkhake obohela kora ta budhoy bhalo noy. Koyek bochorer majhei Bharote Aids ruger sangkha prithibir majhe sob cheye beshi darabe. Tumi jemon bolle "juger sathe sathe onek kichui bodle jaay". Sei bodle jaoya take grohon kora ta kintu aboshok. Onekei korte pare na, ota tader nijer bektigoto bepar, aar taar jonnoi somaj ke chai shushto gonotantrik hoyar. karon uttom gonotantrik somaj i sob manush ke ebong manusher chinta aar mononshilota ke bojay rekhe desh ke aar somaj ke egiye niye jaay. Ghun dhora somaje thaka aar ondho bekti ke rasta jigyasa kora eki kotha. Ja somaje hoy ba hocche taake dheke na rekhe sei bishoye chorcha kora ebong hariye jaoya somaj theke udahoron khuje baar kora kharap kichu noy. Sangomer pobitrota Bharotiyo jibone ranna ghor theke shuru kore mandir porjonto bistarito hoye aache. Shil-nora (patha-puthail) er bebohar moshla bata charao mangolik karje bebohar hoy. Aar ei shil nora sangomer i chinha. Shiv mandirer je pathorer upor Ganga-jol dhala hoy taao Shiv-Parvatir sangam chinha. Ektu chok khullei dekha jaay Bharotiyo somaje ki rokom sangamer udahoran deoya aache. Je sangam chinher upor amra protidin jol dhele puja kori kintu amra ei sangom ke niye charcha korte gelei lojja budh kori. Ei lojja budh ke pechone phele rekhe amader i su-shikkha nite hobe ei manob jiboner akhankhito kamona ke. "In the Upanishads sexual relationship is described as one of the means of apprehending the divine nature, and throughout oriental literature it is constantly used metaphorically to express the true relationship between the human soul and God." Partha Mitter Se ta bibaher purbe na pashate seta tumari nirdharon koro...                                                                   Iti Bijli :)     kigoobe kigoobe Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 21:54:58 »    I'm totally OK with Bijli ... nice post Bijli ... keep it up ..     debasish_ch debasish_ch Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 22:06:46 »    Well said, Bijli... the sanctity of sexual union was, in addition to Hinduism, also propagated in the pagan cults (Pre-Christian religions, most of which revered feminity). The orthodox church had demolished all those practices. Thus arose the biblical notion of the "Original Sin". Tumi theek-i bolecho... ei experience ta ke kokhon laabh korte chai ta ekantaoi nijossho byapaar.     brown_eyes brown_eyes Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 22:07:38 »    [quote author=debasish_ch link=board=0011&num=1115827274&start=0#12 date=06/19/05 at 19:36:07] Bijli didi.. kichu mone koro na...  kintu prachin bharatbarsher shob jinishkei je prashangsha korte hobe, eta ki khub jaruri? Aar mon amar mejdi... eta shaak diye maach dhakar byapaar noy. Amra shobai jaani je amader nagarik sabbhotay pre-marital sex aajkal jal bhaater motoi byapaar hoye geche... kintu she to didi churi dakati pocketmaar bribery khun kidnapping eve-teasing rape shobi prachur matray hoy. Shob-i mene nebo? Samaje hocche bolei mene nebo? Shobai jodi shaak diye maach dheke ney taaholei to samaj ta shudhre jaabe tai na? Jodi ami aar tumi aar amader aashe paasher shob lokera nijer marjada anushaare chole taholei to jathesto, tai na? Ki bolo? [/quote] debashish_ch, I fully conform to your view. Prachinkaale Bharate jeeban ke koyekta bhage bhag kora hoto-Brohmocharya,garhastya,banprastha abong aashram.Purakaale jemon Bharate onek illicit child er jonmo hoyechhilo,temni brahmacharya o procholito chilo. Tobe,Brahmachari der seduce korle je taader podoskholon hobe taa to swabhabik,tai noy ki?It is human. Ekhon Menaka eshe Biswamitra ke prolovito kore jaa korlo taa to aar pre-marital sex ke socity te sanction dey naa.I think in the epics,the human character has been portrayed with all its vices and virtues. Juge juge aamaader muni rishi ra songjomer kotha prochaar kore gechhen.Udahoron swarup aami Ramkrishna Paramhangsa,Vivekananda er kothaa bolbo. Ekhono Ramkrishna Missioner sob Moharaaj ra brohmochari hoye thaaken. Aar Garhastya porjaye,je 'rotisukher' kothaa Bijli likhle,setake seemaar modhhye paowa tai aamader sarthakata.Actually,that is what sets us apart from all other societies. Aamaader chintadhara oto sthul noy.Bharatiyader songskriti eto unnata je ta sukkha chintar jogaan dey. But alas,aajkaal westernisation er prokop oto probol je aamra o pre-marital sex ke onumodon korchhi.Ekta shishu ke sustha chinta dharar odhikari kore tolar dayitto oboshyoi Maa babar upore bortaay. Tai,mon_amar er kotha moto ,they should be given the knowledge of birds and bees at an appropriate age.Oneksomoy ei shob bhul oggota boshota ghote thake. Sheshe eitai bolbo je,aamaader sangskritir utkorsho aamaader 'custom' aamaader 'taboo' thekei aashe. Aadhunikotaar naame taake noshto naa korai bhalo. Aami shudhu aamar motamot byakto korlaam. No offence meant to anyone :).     debasish_ch debasish_ch Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 22:17:35 »    In continuation to brown eyes (tain abaar Borda kila hoila? Jethima hoile te-o mana jaito). Its not that sex education is the most important question in front of our children these days. Tell me folks, how many of you had your parents explaining birds and bees to you? We all learnt it the wrong way, right? But still, inspite of learning this the wrong way, we continued to tread on the right path. The reason was that our parents could inject into us the basic moral values... and the morality of s** (I hate uttering that word so often) is not different from any other values that you treasure. So what I guess is that if you can keep your basic values and morality in place, s** and everything would also continue to go on the right track... and in addition, you would never cheat in exams, never do any harm to your friends, never mistreat the weak... so on and so forth. Open for discussion and comments... (I really miss kigoobe here).     ^_^ ^_^ Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 22:20:45 »    [quote author=brown_eyes link=board=0011&num=1115827274&start=15#17 date=06/19/05 at 22:07:38] Sheshe eitai bolbo je,aamaader sangskritir utkorsho aamaader 'custom' aamaader 'taboo' thekei aashe. Aadhunikotaar naame taake noshto naa korai bhalo. Aami shudhu aamar motamot byakto korlaam. No offence meant to anyone :). [/quote] [b]keep it up Brown_eyes[/b]     Keats Keats Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 22:34:08 »    Well guys forget everything! The thread, the discussion and the topic, its morality and the relevance of sex education, the need to rinse yourself of the evils etc., etc., What is good and what is bad, what is right and what is wrong? Isn't that very apparent and who is the one whom we have appointed as the authority to judge the morality of a proposition? Please excuse me if my post hurts anyone, but lets for once and all shed our hypocritic mask. We all are not sure about our values, and the forbidden and the taboo always attracts. Stop pointing out loopholes, in the value system, and also taking the good out of the puddle of mud and things like that. The fact that we are not sure about our value system is the reason this thread is being updated with such a fervour. (I too am not excluded). There is a saying that, if you have five fingers on your hand and you land up on a land where its normal to have six on a hand, then you are the odd one out. Thereby, like everything values and virtues are also apparent and are influenced by the society we live in to a great extent. Some of us are proponents and some laggards, or the ones who folow the bandwagon. Individually we are lost. The TABOO still attracts. So, let values of virtue and vice be individualistic. Maybe, I am wrong, but I am sure this is a train of thought, and I don't care if I am the only one who believes this.     Bijili Bijili Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 23:28:00 »    Ja kichu amader somaje nei ba ek somay chilo, sei bishoy ba bostu niye alochona kimba nij desher itihash othoba onno jatir somaj theke udahoron ber kore chorcha kora ta kokhonoi kharap mone kori na. amra je bishoye kotha bolchi ei rokom bishoy charao onnonyo bishoy ache jekhane bortoman kaler Bharotiyo mononshilota chot khay. Bharoter manush ki kuno din keu bibaher purbe sangam kore ni? 1.2 billion jonotar majhe jodi keu kore thake tahole ki sei bekti ke amra "bad influence of West" bolbo jodio sei bekti gramer ek krishok hoy je kono din television dekhe ni? Somaje totha kothito "asamajik" ja kichu hoy, taake na dheke sei bishoy niye chorcha kora tao ki "Western influence" hoye gelo? West er sob kichui je kharap ta to satyo noy, amra onek kichui shikhte pari tader kach theke. Bharotiyo somaj je "Ganga joye dhoya tulsi pata" tao to aar thik noy. Jati-prothar moto ghrinno prothao amader unnoto somaje ajo aache. Aar bibaho purbo sangam Bharot ki, prithibir sob somajei chilo, ache ebong thakbe. Eta kono "western" kichui noy. Prithibir je sob somaj ei dhoroner sangam ke mene niyeche sei sob somaj kichu din ageo onek ruddho chilo. Sei sob somaj keno mene niyeche seta ke drishtayito kora ki Bharotiyo sanskritir ullonghon kora hobe na ki ei bishoye amder motobaad ta aaro phol-proshu hobe? Aaj kaal ekta cholon esche je somaje tothakothito "mondo" bishoy niye kotha bolle loke bolbe "gaat modern haoya laagche", jemon gaye bhut lage temni. Sobai bhoy kore chole tader, Sandkamok byadhir moto. Ei sob "mondo chele meye" ra taai "noshto meyer noshto godyo" er lekhikar moto amader somaje aar jayga thake na. Kintu poroborti kale sei somaj i tader sharan kore garbito hoy.                                                             iti bijli     Keats Keats Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/19/05 at 23:43:01 »    Wonderful! Thats it ;D ;D     loverboy Guest Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/20/05 at 03:29:14 »    Hello everyone, my opinion about premarital sex is that there is nothing wrong in it but the pleasure of losing your virginity to the person and too on your wedding night has a totally different charm in itself. I am neither married not a virgin and I was very okay with the concept of pre marital sex but then my girl friend made me realize that the is some charm or rather pleasure that should be taken only after marraige otherwise what is the point in getting married. We have been together lot of times and have shared some intimate moments also but we were very sure of one thing that we are not going to have sex before marraige and had also made sure about one thing that during these intimate moments, if one of us loses control, other controls and in most of the occasion it has been that I was the one who controlled her and she respects me for that. She always said, "If you give a finger to a boy, he tries to penetrate" but after she met me and all the moments we have had with each other, she tell me that her perception about boys is wrong to an extent and to top it she says that there is a lot of difference between a boy friend and a husband coz she always regards me as her husband and she loves ro celebrate each and every incident where she lost control but I controlled her. She knows that I've had sex earlier but as of today, she makes me feel like a VIRGIN.     Debabrata debabrata Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/20/05 at 14:10:25 »    [quote author=Bijili link=board=0011&num=1115827274&start=15#21 date=06/19/05 at 23:28:00] "noshto meyer noshto godyo" er lekhikar moto amader somaje aar jayga thake na. Kintu poroborti kale sei somaj i tader sharan kore garbito hoy.[/quote] Personally I do like the concept of 'sharirik pobitrota' before marriage -I respect and admire Indian value system. At the age of 27/28 when I find most of my unmarried friends are virgin I don't get surprised. Please don't tell me that this is because of not getting any chance of losing it. Most of my friends are staying outside home and having ample opportunities to lose it. This is because of the values they inherit. The bondage between husband and wife, brother and sisters in our society  are our   pride. Hook up, one-night-stand, casual sex—these are the very common word in the western society. Being  frustrated of these Hook ups, one-night-stands,casual sex -my western friends are longing for such bondage and long term relationships exist in India.. Those examples from   epics mentioned by Bijli are mere epics written by some human beings. They cannot stand as a testimony of the fact I would like to mention about ‘noshto meyer noshto godyo’ lekhika  Taslima . I had a chance to read her autobiography "Ka” ( Speak Up) When I was in Dhaka last year. I am/was not a fan of Taslima Nasrin. Though I didn’t miss any of her books. Right from  the 'Nirbachito Kolam’ to 'Nosto Meyer Nost o Gadya', Ammar maye bela.. etc. Her mindset revealed in 'Ka' is consistent with that in other books such as 'Amar Meyebela' and 'Lajja'. I do not subscribe to some of her extremist feminist views, I must admit that I find her writing style quite unique and repect her for not being a Hippocrate. Taslima discussed about her personal (literary & sex) life in the book. She also touched upon the characters of people she came in touch with. There is a category of people with whom she had sex irrespective of religion or social status. The other category is known as secular (Actually atheists), India-loyal politicians, writers, poets,novelists and cultural artistes. She never had sexual encounters with people who were at odds with her political views. Six persons with whom she had pre and extra-marital sexual affairs were novelist Imdadul Haque Milon, Rudra Mohammad Shahidullah (later her first husband), journalist Naimul Islam Khan (later her second husband)Mohammad Ali Minar aka Minar Mahmud (later her third husband and former Bichinta editor; currently living in the USA), poet Syed HasmaJalal (son of Calcatian litterateur Syed Mustafa Shiraj) and Kaiser  (former Gazipur subdistrict chairman). Among the people who wanted to take her to bed were novelist Syed Shamsul Huq, poet Helal Hafiz, journalist Abu Hasan Shahriar, Mozammel Babu, publisher Khoka, et al.Taslima divulged the dark side of the lives of medical practitioner Shipra & Manu, Shipra & Harun, Neepa & Naheed, Farhad Mazhar & Farida Akhter, poet Shamsur Rahman & Oyshwaryashila (a married hindu housewife) and Mriganka (a 21-year old young hindu man) & Sharifa Khatun (a 58-year old woman).The list goes on…………. Bijli wrote “noshto meyer noshto godyo" er lekhikar moto amader somaje aar jayga thake na. Kintu poroborti kale sei somaj i tader sharan kore garbito hoy”… Being bold and depict one’s personal life for some cheap fame is not a great achievement. This is just  a clever attempt to stay on the lime light .Tai  “tader sharan kore garbito hoower’ modye aami kuno  mohan  kichhu  khuje pain na. Aaj jokon sara duniya Indian family system and values niye gobeshona korchhe thokhon those bold ‘Taslima’ and likeminded peoples are playing the extra innings just to stay on focus and create controversy just to sell their concepts. They are backed by the establishments. As Taslima Nasrin is backed by ABP group to make more  business. Taslima mentioned the names of few distinguished people  Foremost among them were poet Shamsur Rahman. Here is bit more information about this great womanizer. In a March-April issue (2003) of a fortnightly magazine, Shamsur Rahman admitted, "Although I was attracted to one woman in the beginning, I used to love all types of women, married or unmarried later in my life. I established sexual relationship with several women. Then I deserted them. I don't believe that one has to marry a woman after loving her. Sometimes I think that it is better to love someone but not marry her. I had 6/7 lovers in my life so far. I am indebted to all of them with whom I had love affairs. They gave me a lot - they enriched my thought process. They helped me to write  poems. Love is not bound by age. It is possible to love during old age. Love has a different power. A type of mental strength is required to cope with the surge of strong love. That overpowers the hindrance created by old age." (Daily Inqilab, 22/07/2003). Those so called intellectuals always defend themselves in the name  of free thoughts and mindset like the way poet Shamsur Rahman did.     mon_amar mon_amar Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/20/05 at 15:32:23 »    Dear Respected silchar.com members, "Sex before marriage" the topic was dead in a way, last sunday it revived and then given birth to a debate. It was great to know what you feel. Really very much astonished to see people hating to utter or write the word "sex":o I would like to share what i feel about that. :) I do feel that sex before or after marriage is only your personal choice.  Its you who is going to decide, not the society. Sex and love making is two totally different things. Sex is something like hunger, maintaining natures call etc. Its a hormone in your/my body. I have a habit of speaking out clearly what I believe in. So I would tell you freely what I feel. Sex is beautiful when it is love making. You are giving your body to the person you love and this way you surrender to your love with all your mind body and soul. And when it is only sex, it is just an animal instinct and nothing else. Marriage as an institution has many loopholes. I dont trust that every marriad couple are making love just becouase they are married and all the unmarried people who lost their varginity to the person they love were only having sex. (by now I hope you understand what I mean by making love and having sex).What you call those physical relationship which have no love at all and they have sex just because they have social acceptance. This seems so ridiculous to me. I call them  legalised prositution. Sex when only for the sake of sex with no love and the sense of commitment is always dirty, cheap. I loath the concept of sex. No matter if it is before marriage and after marriage. Love making, with love and complete surrender, which I think is Devine. I would die for that...before marriage or after marriage. There is a vast difference between Having sex and making love. I hope I could explain my point. :)     TaarCheera TaarCheera Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/20/05 at 17:28:52 »    good discussion. onekta adha glass jol er moto..key koirokom dekhbai itar upre depend kore.. Browny tumar lekha porle Shakespear+Rabindranath ekloge uddhar hoi jai...onekta cha bananir somoi jela chini aar dudhe misi jai ola obosta..joto somoi duitar porimaan soman thake cha uttam hoi aar ekta besi ba kom hoile tokhon ... ;D maane rey tumi tumi raag koreo na rey..banglai ila sadhu aar cholti bhasa milaile koi guruchondali , english aar bangla misaile kita jani koibo? any idea aami-S? :) TC     mon_amar mon_amar Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/20/05 at 19:01:02 »    Bangreji?? ??? :o     Keats Keats Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/20/05 at 20:20:12 »    Benglish!!! ;D ;D ;D     brown_eyes brown_eyes Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/20/05 at 21:11:41 »    [quote author=TaarCheera link=board=0011&num=1115827274&start=15#26 date=06/20/05 at 17:28:52] good discussion. onekta adha glass jol er moto..key koirokom dekhbai itar upre depend kore.. Browny tumar lekha porle Shakespear+Rabindranath ekloge uddhar hoi jai...onekta cha bananir somoi jela chini aar dudhe misi jai ola obosta..joto somoi duitar porimaan soman thake cha uttam hoi aar ekta besi ba kom hoile tokhon ... ;D maane rey tumi tumi raag koreo na rey..banglai ila sadhu aar cholti bhasa milaile koi guruchondali , english aar bangla misaile kita jani koibo? any idea aami-S? :) TC [/quote] It is really harsh on your part Taarcheera ??? ??? ???. Some words are better expressed in English.That's why I did it. I merely jotted down what my opinion is.But you guys started attacking personally. You want me to find faults with your postings?I can do that. I have my right to express what I feel unless Admin asks me not to(as it is his website). I don't care if someone calls me 'Jethima' or whatever. It is hightime to take a break,I guess.     PootlaNo1 PutlaNo1 Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/20/05 at 21:15:25 »    eetare koi pootlami... tumire... brown_eyes bujhona.. !!     Bijili Bijili Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/20/05 at 21:59:59 »    [quote author=brown_eyes link=board=0011&num=1115827274&start=15#29 date=06/20/05 at 21:11:41] I merely jotted down what my opinion is.But you guys started attacking personally. [/quote] its true. we shouldn't attack anyone personally. everyone have right to express the way they want. i live in london but most of the time prefer to write in bengali; like that i can prectice the language. we should be discussing on the subject and not picking on each other but learn from one another.                                                be happy :D     debasish_ch debasish_ch Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/20/05 at 22:38:33 »    [quote author=brown_eyes link=board=0011&num=1115827274&start=15#29 date=06/20/05 at 21:11:41] I merely jotted down what my opinion is.But you guys started attacking personally. I don't care if someone calls me 'Jethima' or whatever. [/quote] Hey, none of us meant any offence, I guess! The type of discussion under this thread is such that emotions may fly high at certain times... but I guess we need to handle it with care. No offence meant to anybody... nobody wanted to hurt anybody's sentiments.     Debabrata debabrata Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 00:13:50 »    [quote author=Bijili link=board=0011&num=1115827274&start=30#31 date=06/20/05 at 21:59:59] its true. we shouldn't attack anyone personally. everyone have right to express the way they want. we should be discussing on the subject and not picking on each other but learn from one another.  [/quote] Ditto Bijili...hope tumi o aamar lekha te kharap paiso na...     Bijili Bijili Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 02:27:45 »    ekdom na debabrata, borong khushi hoisi. amio maze maze khub tita kotha koi kintu ja thik mone kori taai sob somay koi. tumar lekha poriya onek kisu lekhar uddeshyo asil kalke thakiya kintu hate ektuko somoy naai. somoy hoile lekhmu... kintu mone kicchu niyo na, ager thaki koiram... :)     kigoobe kigoobe Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 03:18:53 »    Ektu mone hoi derite dhuklam ... amio ei kothai koi, personal attack jinishta ekdom thik na ... I hope that the whole thing was a misunderstanding ... amio maje maje kichu ulta palta kotha lekhi laitam chai ... kintu fore abar edit kori ... Well, I didn't read upto the beginning, but I think in this kind of situation the best is to trace the root ... like, if somebody is hurt due to me, and if I haven't done that intentionally, I can easily come out to break the 'tala' of misunderstanding ... few words do magic often ... Cheers.     kigoobe kigoobe Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 03:26:23 »    ei matro forlam ... ita to TC - r kotha thaki sob sure ... are dhuro ba tumra sob-o  je kita ... TC to bhalo chele, amra sobe tare chini ... he ita moja koriya koise ... bujau jar ...     TaarCheera TaarCheera Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 12:53:29 »    Sorry, brown_eyes . I never tried to attack u personally. I did that just for fun. Anyway, next time I'll not do this. No one is perfect. So u can always  find out faults in my posting. "Perfection can not be improved" dil chahata hai er ekta Dialogue. I am really very sorry. You pl. keep writing in this mahaadda. I promise I'll not repeat the same. :) TC     Keshto Keshto Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 14:04:54 »    [B]Hehek....TC Saab....saalam saab...good sky....[/B] Aap ke liye mera tin salah.... ek....Mazak same frequency ka banda se karo...nahi to accident ho janekko chance rahela...iss topic ka jaissa do....Daru peena to akele piyo..mere jaissa... tin....Mera salah mano.... [B]Hehek...[/B]     mon_amar mon_amar Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 14:06:31 »    Me too sorry brown_eyes, Bangrezi bolar jonno....tobe nichhok mozar chholei bole chhilam, just ekta word Bangali+Ingrezi=Bangrezi ;D Do not mind please!!! And Dont think of taking a brk. Adda ta noshto hoye jabe. :)     kigoobe kigoobe Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 17:08:00 »    Topic ta interesting ... kintu ami ekta jinish koimu, that I think as I spoke in the other thread of Seculiarism, here also we are having one problem in defining sex ... or should I say, the topic of this thread ... what it is ? Sex before mariage, or Sexual relationship with a different person before mariage !!! Bujram tumrar bhuru kuchker, but according to me, these two are totally different topic as Mon_amar told Sex and Love making are two different things (and I totally agree with her as well ... I will tell sex is more a physical desire, and love making satisfies both emotional and physical needs) ... see, what we are speaking about in this thread is more Sexual relationship with a different person before mariage and not Sex before mariage ... Bujlai na ... why the topic can't be Sex before mariage, as each and everybody of us are or have been involved in 'Sex before mariage' in their life ... if not, then what u do when u masterbate ?? What u do when u see sexually exited movie and then find urself wet ?? What u do when a particular dream or thought make urself hot and u end up wetting urself !!! And even what u do when u look at somebody and murmur to urself 'Aha-re...'. Food and sex are the two very basic needs around which the whole animal kingdom including human being is surviving ... [and they are need as these are the basis of survival for any animal ... ektai bortoman jibon re bachaiya rakhe aar arektai bhobishyot-er projonmo re swagotom janai ... aar ei dui taar modhye jekuno ekta bondho oi gele oi projati prithibir buk thaki bilupto oi jaibo ... ] these are the two basic things which are the reason of everything, what we see around us, directly and indirectly, and none of them, neither sex nor food we can ignore in our life as they are 'so natural' and simply because we can't survive ignoring any of these two. I know there are ppl who have been brought up with a  strong 'Islamic education' (as Bijli has rightly pointed out before, this very mentality is a Muslim mentality and we are just following what they taught us during their 400 yrs of 'rajotto' ... and here lies the paradox, most of the Hindus won't be proud to know that they are just following the Muslim way of life by keeping aside our very own culture and values which were a part of our life for more then 9000 years ... and they are still doing it ... and worst, now they are believeing that its their own culture and proudly telling that they are pround of this.) feel like a criminal even to mustarbate and hide it as if they r hiding committing a murder ... and I will tell if there is really anybody who can tell that he / she has avoided / avoiding all sorts of sexual activities after reaching puberty and till a certain 'ceremony' they are nothing but sick ppl (either physically as they don't feel the need .. something like someone who don't feel hungry, or mentally as they controlling one's basic nature to that extent (which is only possible when u consider sex as a sin) can't be considered natural and if not treated properly, can give serious complications even in the post mariatal life ... ) and they should visit doctors .. either a doctor who can check the hormonal balance of the person or a psychotherapist who can treat them by making them understand, that both food and sex are basic needs and neither of them can be considered as a sin. So here I conclude the first part ... [b]Sex is a part of life that can't be denied ... before or after whatever[/b] ... comments welcome ... and let's move towards the second part ... Sexual activity with someone before mariage ... Well, this is a different topic ... but here we go ... Considering u r somebody normal (both physically and mentally) and more or less active sexually (with or without involving another person) ... we can have two type of people ... 1. Those who go for sexual liason 2. Those who don't do it really, but keep on dreaming ... Coming to the second group (as they is no point to debate with the first group ... they know what they r doing) ... keeping aside the 'Muslim' values that I have discussed before, let's see what are the practical reasons for behaving as a member of the second group and not of the first (as after all, there is not that much difference between the two ... like some one who goes for a morning walk everyday and someone who would like to, but can't really make it for this or that reason ... after all, both are mentally prepared and difference is just in the execution). 1. Unavailability of a possible partner with whom they can exercise what they want without any fear. 2. Unavailability of a suitable and practical place where they can do what they want 3. Fear of being termed as a bad person in the society 4. Fear of post-marital complications, like what the future partner will think if they come to know of their pre marital liasons ... (which is more appropriate with our female friends) .. another negative side of the 400 yrs of Muslim rule (of course Hindu bridegrooms don't put a white tissue to check the virginity of their wife like their Muslim counterparts, but we can't deny how important it is in our society to find the wife as a virgin) 5. Men and women both maintain their own group of friends and don't mix with each other enough as they would had they believed in the equality of sex ... Well, I'm not a psychologist, so there might be other reasons as well what obliges somebody for not going for the morning walk even if they want it (those who don't want, as told, are sick and seriously need to see a doctor as soon as possible) ... but what I will tell, is there really a difference between the two groups !!! And then, if all the 5 reasons for being in the second group doesn't exist, will there be as many people as now in the second group ?? ?? ?? Conclusion, I will repeat the same as Mon-amar has told before ... it should be a personal choice ... and till u are not sick and maintaining a healthy sexual life in an alternative method (masterbation, etc), there is nothing to worry about and one can wait till the mariage for not complicating the post marital life, from a social point of view. Cheers. PS. A lot may not agree with me, but as told before, comments welcome ...     brown_eyes brown_eyes Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 21:27:28 »    It's o.k TC,mon_amar :D. Reading TC's posting was the first thing I did after getting up.So,I was a bit upset :-X.Besides I was afraid that this thread was turning into 'Moner moto Hindi Cinema' where my leg was being pulled horribly.Sorry guys,if I overreacted. So far as taking a break is concerned,I also cannot spend a day without visiting silchar.com once :D. I just wanted to see if you guys like my company. It seems you do. Do you remember that 'cadbury' advertisement song? "Ruthe logo ko manana chahiye." So,you must have got the hint. TC,mon_amar,I want a cadbury ;). By the way,my post is Hinglish now(Hindi+English). And FYI,Sourav dar uprer post tao Benglish kintu. TC ekhon kow aamaar post a kita(aami kintu Hindi,Bangla,English tinta i lekhsi). ;D ;D ;D ;D     debasish_ch debasish_ch Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 21:29:53 »    Kicchu ekta kowar khub iccha asil... haate paaye chulchuli korer... kintu dinkaal kharap... moner kotha mone thakai bhalo.     kigoobe kigoobe Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 21:52:55 »    Bah bah Brown ... welcome back ... irokom dekhle bhala lage ... sobai miliya haat milaiya 'firse dost'. And great spirit, TC and Mon_Amar ... French-e koy, Bravo. ;) ami chairta bhasha milaiya lekhlam aarki! ... itar nam kita oito ? [b]Frengalindi[/b] (suniya jodiyo Hailakandi Hailakandi lage sunte) kemon lage sunte ??? ([u]Fre[/u]nch, [u]Eng[/u]lish, Ben[u]gali[/u] and H[u]indi[/u] ;D ;D ;D     Keats Keats Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 22:25:15 »    Hey please forgive me Browny if I hurt you. I did not mean to hurt you.  :( :( :(     kigoobe kigoobe Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 22:34:35 »    eirokom oito nai Keats ... Brown e kita koise suncho nani ? Cadbury loiya aao ... tarfore taai sunbo tumar kotha ...  ;)  ;D     mon_amar mon_amar Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/21/05 at 23:05:01 »    Badami Chokhh, Cadbury ta kothai pathabo??  ??? 1,2, 3 Cadbury tomar paona.... :D Saurabh da....thik bolechho...mishti diye dosti abar shuru... :D     Debabrata debabrata Re: sex before marriage   «on: 06/22/05 at 00:38:07 »    [quote author=debasish_ch link=board=0011&num=1115827274&start=30#42 date=06/21/05 at 21:29:53] Kicchu ekta kowar khub iccha asil... haate paaye chulchuli korer... kintu dinkaal kharap... moner kotha mone thakai bhalo. [/quote] monor kotha mono e thakuk...  :( :(     kigoobe kigoobe