silchari_blood
silchari_blood
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compu jokes
«on:
12/26/01 at 08:27:49 » |
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Dear Bill Gates, This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab.
We havegot a computer in our home and we face some Problem, which I want
to bring to your notice. After connecting to Internet we planned to open
anemail account. But when ever we fill the Form of Hotmail, in password
field only * comes. But in rest of the fields whatever we typed
comesbut we faced The problem only in Password field. We checked with Hardware
vendor and he said that there is no problem in
keyboard. Because of this we have opened the email
account with password *****. But I request u to check this as we our self
don'tknow what is the password!!!. The next one is that we are unable to enter
anythingafter we shut down the computer. There is a button for start but
not for pause, stop as in stereo recorder. We request u
to add the same in future.
There is a option as RUN in menu. This one of myneighbor after clicking
started running and he has run up to Amritsar from Chandigarh. So we request
u change that to SIT. So that we can click that by sitting.
One doubt is that can I click Re cycle bin. I
own ascooter in my home. Is there a separate option as Re scooter bin available
in the system? In Microsoft outlook we are able to see the
outerview of the mail. Is there an in look through which we can have inner
view of the mail?
The last one is my wife has lost the door key of ourhouse. So I searched
for the same in search option of start icon. But I did not find the same
there also .Is it a bug? Rest In next letter. Yours Anonymously Banta Singh.
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silchari_blood
silchari_blood
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Re: compu jokes
«on:
12/26/01 at 08:33:42 » |
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A computer scientist died and of course was immediately sent to hell. As he gloomily entered the infernal gates, he was amazed to
find hell was a vast computer laboratory with equipment beyond his wildest dreams. There were machines of unbelievable capacity and
memory, machines that could work at speeds unheard of on earth.
"What do you think of hell?" asked the devil. "Wonderful" said the computer scientist, "give me a few discs and let me try these machines out."
"That's the hell of it," grinned the devil. "We've got no software down here."
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silchari_blood
silchari_blood
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Re: compu jokes
«on:
12/26/01 at 08:35:24 » |
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This is a true story from the WordPerfect help line. Needless to say the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialog of a former Word perfect Customer Support employee:
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other
cable."
".......Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
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Deepanwita
Deepanwita
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Re: compu jokes
«on:
02/11/02 at 14:33:31 » |
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Here is another one..
Bill Gates died and found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God. "Well, Bill," God said, "I'm really confused about this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world, and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. So I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"
Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"
God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you."
Bill said, "Okay, then, let's try Hell first." So off Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God. "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!"
"Fine," said God and off they went.
Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. "Hmm, I think I prefer Hell," he told God.
"Fine," God replied, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. "How's everything going, Bill?" God asked.
Bill responded (his voice full of anguish and disappointment), "This is awful; this is not what I expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?"
"Ah," God smiled and said, "That was just the screensaver."
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