Shamim from London
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Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obstacle?
«on:
12/28/01 at 10:33:48 » |
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Would any one agree that a marriage between a Sylheti and a Bengali would end up in a broken heart?
I mean the Sylheti guy has to speak Bengali with his darling wife who would never try to speak her husband’s tongue. The Sylheti husband would object to his Bengali sweetheart adding sugar to their curries.
In fact he/she has to give up being a sylheti and mould like a Bengali, speaking their language and having their diet. Can a Sylheti person speaking their tongue and food while having a relationship with a Bengali person? I doubt it, as the Bengalis would never speak our language, it’s the Sylhetis who always have to compromise. What do you think?
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Vikram
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Re: Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obsta
«on:
12/31/01 at 08:19:11 » |
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Hi Shamim
From London also U are sparing some time to go through the memories of Silchar. It's really appreciable. Whatever you written that is partially correct. Once that used to be there, when there was the law of domination, but these in this fast world marriage itself is a compromise between the couple. So in very rare occasion this type of controversy will come & compromise is the only solution. As a syllabi if personally I face the same situation I will compromise in some cases but not in all cases. Regarding the food let us have the taste of some different food for a change what is wrong with that? Regarding the language it's always a good practice to learn something new. Being a Silchari if I can speak Marathi well then my Friends also has to speak at least some sylleti words & that's already done. If Maharastrian can say some Sylleti words then Why not a Bengali Guy/girl????? They had to. I know at the beginning they will criticize us, Don't bother one day they will learn.
"WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR"
Cholo Bye.. |
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subir
subir
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Re: Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obsta
«on:
01/01/02 at 06:39:38 » |
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I do agree with both, with a bit of reservation with Shamim. I think mostly outside Bengal we all consider ourselves as Bengalis & we do not say to an Angrej that I am from Sylhet or am a Sylheti. So if we have food made by the Bengali wife though with added with sugar still it remains a Bengali dish itself right. Also it depends on the couple how they want to compromise that is in accordance with Vikram - in language or food. Sometimes situation is that the guy is surrounded by Bengalis & though he can manage with his wife but how does he manage the whole society arround, so it may not be a compromise its basically way of life. Otherwise we will have to get pinned up to Silchar or Sylhet itself.
But anyway a good idea to have a good adda.
Happy new year |
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Shamim
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Re: Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obsta
«on:
01/02/02 at 09:36:36 » |
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It’s interesting to read both of your comments. I can’t agree with Vikram when he says ‘Don’t bother one day they will learn’ The fact is that Bengalis will never learn to speak Sylheti as they perceive our language as bad and corrupt Bangla. Halar Halain! The Sylheti person has to compromise and speak Bengali to his/her partner, otherwise the marriage wouldn’t last long. As Subir said, a Sylheti would it very difficult if he is in a society surrounded by Bengalis like in Calcutta. Even if he tries his best to speak in Bengali, he will have an accent and that will be picked up by the Bengalis who will enquire where he originally came from and not mention he has to get used to eating sweets.
We in England have a strong Sylheti community and we are proud to speak our language in Radios. Over 95% of all Bangladeshi living in UK are from Sylhet region. Many of us don’t consider ourselves as Bengalis, whom are seen as outsiders or foreigners by Sylhetis. Many young British Sylhetis can’t speak Bengali, but can speak Sylheti, which is their mother tongue and off course English. Many English workers who deal with Sylheti people are learning Sylheti to communicate effectively. If I meet a Bengali person I would speak in English, as my Bengali is very poor because I am brought up in London.
In England Marriage between Sylhetis and Bengalis, who are very rare, are extremely rare. Again it’s the language barrier and cultura that prevents it. Even in Sylhet marriage between a Sylheti and non-Sylheti is uncommon. Bengalis flood in to Sylhet for jobs and Business opportunities, as Sylhet is very prosperous of all districts. They consider it ‘second England’. In Sylhet almost all Labours and Rikshawallas are non-Sylheti.
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Aakash
Aakash
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Re: Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obsta
«on:
01/02/02 at 11:58:31 » |
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Thanks Shamim Though U R in London, Still U R sparing regularly some moments of your schedule to go through the Silchar.com. Honestly I was Vikram who had posted the last message. Thanks that U had gone through that also. I am not actually Sylleti ( From Bangaladesh) I am basically from Silchar some Typical sylleti words hardly known to me. Because my education & my life settelement is far way from my native town so people like me had achived the mixed culture feeling. Feeling proudy that you all those are in London maintaining the Sylleti culture there... carry on.. It's always a good practice...
Cholo bye....... |
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Silcharii
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Re: Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obsta
«on:
01/03/02 at 09:07:52 » |
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I believe, I am a true sylheti..
I totally agree with Shamim that, a sylheti talks in Kelu with his/her spouse. But, I feel, that is because the sylheti knows kelu and the other one doesn't know sylheti. When they were introduced to each other, they first started their conversation in Kelu. And that continues thoughtout their life.
When an Indian marries a British, they talk in english. Don't u think that the same rule applies here also ?.... In some cases, the British learns the Indian language, but he/she never talks in that language with his/her spouse.
I am not going to any conclusion... I just wanted to go to the root cause and express what I feel... |
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subir
subir
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Re: Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obsta
«on:
01/06/02 at 07:16:00 » |
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It is a great feeling that we get out of Shamim's comments and the revelations makes us more proud & surprised. It was never known to me that 95% of the so called Bengali population is actually Sylheti population.
As Shamim said about the prosperity of Sylhet, this was the same thing that was told to me by a professor of a Business School at Dhaka. Also he mentioned the fact that Sylhetis never call themselves Bengalis.
Really its a great feeling. As such Shamim must be happy to know that in Silchar too the Sylhetis prevail, almost every Bengali speaks in Sylheti, I have even examples of a certain kelus taking up Sylheti.
Three Cheers to Sylheti & Shamim. |
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Shamim
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Re: Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obsta
«on:
01/07/02 at 05:33:41 » |
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I like to reply to Subir that not only Sylhetis are over 95% of the Bangladeshi population in UK, but also similarly high numbers in the United States as well. Sylhetis are mostly known in the UK and in the USA for running highly successful ‘Indian Restaurants’. Although the restaurants are Indian, serving usual Indian dishes, they are almost entirely run and owned by Sylhetis. The reason they use ‘Indian restaurant’ is because most English and American customers don’t know where the hell Bangladesh is! However, the younger generation is moving away in pursuing a career in catering. Due to high numbers of Sylhetis in UK, if you type on any Internet search engine ‘Sylhet’ or ‘Sylheti’ you would mostly get website from UK.
Now you may ask yourself how did the hell all these enterprising and adventurous Sylhetis settled in UK and USA and not others like Noakhalis and Mymenshingas. Well these early Sylhetis were adventurous people; some served in British merchant ships before, during and after the WWII and brought their families along. Sylhet is known as ‘little England’ due to its prosperity and its people having friends or relatives in England. I suggest some of you take a trip to Sylhet town to see the changes. You would be amazed!
At first I was surprised that you people in Assam speak Sylheti, then I learned how you people went there. I don’t understand this Kelu Felu thing that some of you are referring to. Aami tho ita math reba bujina, khene afnara Kelu Felu mathoin? Is Kelu is mixture of Sylheti and Bengali. Or is it another word for Bengali language?.
As for Aakash, you say you are not ‘actually Sylleti’. If your are not originally from Sylhet then where did you come from?. Are you ashamed to be called a Sylheti? If so why. If you’re not original from Sylhet then it’s a different matter.
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Aakash
Aakash
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Re: Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obsta
«on:
01/08/02 at 00:53:02 » |
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Hi Shamim !!!!
This is Aakash here from Pune. I have specifically mentioned that I am not a proper sylleti. I have also mentioned to you about my native town. I am from Silchar, southern part of ASSAM, Speaking in sylleti is a common practice in Silchar. But I am not a sylleti, so where from the question of shame comes? I am proudy to say that I am a Bengali. I had hard the name of Kummila district of Bangladesh in Grand parents Gossiping they might be from there. So I think the confusion is clear now....
Bye........
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lollih
lollih
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Re: Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obsta
«on:
01/08/02 at 21:50:24 » |
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Hey talking of marriages even our first lady is of burmese origin compared to our president who is pucca idli -sambar and they make a lovely couple .Well we sylhetis would not even go for marriage with chattgayas and noakahlis in the past.Now it is quite common.I think marriage is an adjustment and the more we do the more we are happier.I have seen many sylheti couples fight over trival matters.
If my friends are not athiests then they would surely believe that for every man born there is a girl made and that is decided before both are born(nowadays God is generous and sends spares for both also to be used secretly even after marriage).
Well to talk about adjustment try eating shutki cooked in sugar sauce not to talk of the buttering your wife would take to cook them and her insistence that you buy her a smoke mask just to cook the dish you loved throughout your life.
LOVELY COUPLE Is'nt it Fellas |
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bachal
bachal
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Re: Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obsta
«on:
01/29/02 at 17:02:17 » |
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hi,
this is to all who said,"always syleti husband or wife compromises".this is not the fact.how many family history u people have gone through?what do u do,if syleti people love speaking kelu or love their partners saying so?rather thay insist their partner to speak in the way she or he did.i have seen such happened in some families and mine too. |
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nazia
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Re: Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obsta
«on:
02/01/02 at 08:49:17 » |
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i don't think language is not an obstacle in sylehti/bengali marriage. marriage is based on mutual understanding between two person including respect for each other's family, culture,values ,religion,language and so on .it hardly matters that one's betterhalf speaks ur mother tongue or not .
in today's global world its difficult to confine urself within ur own community ,moreover i think its no harm learning about ur spouse's culture and way of living but provided he/she also has same feeling regarding ur culture,etc.
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nazia
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Re: Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obsta
«on:
02/02/02 at 08:07:56 » |
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:D sorry for the mistake i actually meant i don't think language is an obs.......
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goom11
goom11
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Re: Sylheti/Bengali Marriage; Is language an obsta
«on:
02/08/02 at 12:50:18 » |
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ami mono kori eta kono bada oito nai. kila ! sileti poya and bengali porio maje onekta kothar mil ache. okhon, jamai jodi sileti oa, taile bour sileti sikon logbou er jamai jodi bengali oa taile tan sileti sikha logbou. moot kotha, dwi jonor ou sileti r bengali kotha sika lagbo.
kita go thik nani |
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